Fic: I miss you - I need you {1/1}

[daeffi.livejournal.com]

Title: I miss you - I need you
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Friendship (maybe mild slash), a bit of angst
Characters: Pippin, Merry
Author: Daeffi
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tolkien.
A/N: “For Merry, losing Pippin is like losing his strength, the other side of his personality.” - Dominic Monaghan
Summary: After Gandalf has left with Pippin to Minas Tirith, Merry thinks about being apart from his best friend now. He is not sure how to go on because with Pippin some of his own strength has gone. (Movie verse)

Merry is lying in his bed, trying to fall asleep which seems to be impossible since his thoughts find no rest. They do not stop haunting his mind. Not even for moment.
It is almost dawning, but he hasn't slept the whole night. By the time the sun rises it will be a day since Gandalf has left with Pippin.
What, if something happens to them? What, if something has already happened?
What, if Merry will never see Pippin again? War is coming up... Merry does not want to think any further. It scares him. He is afraid. Although, this unawareness is probably the most terrible thing in the whole situation; not being by Pippin's side anymore. Merry has not been apart from Pippin for ages. It feels as if a part of himself has gone with Pippin, part of his strength, part of his personality. How should he get through these dark times without his best friend by his side? He needs him.
Merry wishes he would have said this to Pip at least once, although Pippin should know how important he is to Merry. But Merry never said it. Instantly, Merry promises to himself, he will tell him if he ever sees his best friend again. And Merry hopes it will be soon.
Merry misses him. So much that it almost hurts. He never thought that being separated from a special person could give him that much pain. He has never even thought about being separated from Pip either. He did dream of it once, though. It was a nightmare.

Merry stirs in the bed, turns around to face the wall. Maybe it would have been the best, if they had stayed in the Shire. Hobbits are not really made for adventures except their name is “Baggins”. If they had remained there, they could have continued their peaceful lives. They would be still together. However, they could not just let Frodo and Sam go, they are their friends...

Merry lets out an almost inaudible sigh in the darkness of the room.

“By the Shire, Pip, why do you always have to be that nosy?” If Pippin hadn't touched the ball, he would still be here. This fool!
However, immediately Merry regrets his thoughts. He does not want to be angry with Pippin. He just wants to have him back here. Right beside him. Because he belongs here.
Together they could manage everything, whether they were in danger or not. They went through everything: the happy time in the Shire when they took the old Maggot's veg until their captivity by the orcs. They suffered the same sorrow after they had escaped the Mines of Moria, they shared the same courage when they went to Isengard with Treebeard.
Pippin is the best friend Merry ever had. And now that they are separated, he is has no idea how to move on. Without Pippin.

All the time he is worried about Pippin and he is afraid that he will never see him again. They didn't even have the chance to say goodbye properly although, probably, Merry would not have let him go.

Merry closes his eyes, imagines his friend lying next to him. He can almost feel the warmth. He can almost hear him breathing. Merry sighs and opens his eyes again. Darkness surrounds him. Reality faces him.

“I miss you, Pippin. So much.”
The whispered words come out as the sky outside begins to brighten.